The Struggle Between Who You Were And Who You Want to Be

When you finally make the decision to bet on yourself and start taking steps toward your goals, it feels amazing.

Obstacles that once seemed insurmountable become action steps on your journey to transformation. 

Your days are fueled by excitement and an overwhelming sense of commitment and determination. 

You feel unstoppable.

After the initial euphoria wears off, though, you’ll get to the section of your task list that requires going deep outside your comfort zone. 

Less amazing thoughts will begin to emerge. These thoughts are unsettling and, unfortunately, familiar. You’ll start to feel the pull of resistance.

And you may want to retreat.

This is when the real work begins.

Because when your new you starts to falter, the old you will jump in and try to pull you back to safety–back to the land of comfort and no resistance.

The very place you gave everything you had to battle your way out.

The old you will try to tell you all the reasons why you shouldn’t do what you’re doing, or why things won’t work out.

The scary part is everything will sound logical and completely true. 

You will start to believe retreating is the responsible thing to do. You will start to think that what you wanted was just a pipe dream. You’re almost relieved you didn’t let yourself go too far.

My friends, this is the moment of reckoning.

If I sound melodramatic it’s because I’ve seen this moment a million times. I know how it plays out.

You begin to think big goals and dreams are for other people, not you. 

You start to question yourself and second guess your abilities. 

You realize maybe you were too hasty in your decision-making.

And so you ball up your dreams and put them back in the deepest recess of your mind. 

You retreat.

Fast forward five years.

You wonder what happened to the time. 

You wonder again what you were meant to do with your life.

And you secretly wonder how different things would be if you had just stuck it out five years before.

This is the work I’m doing in my own life now.

Recently I transitioned my business from freelance writing to offering accountability services for people who procrastinate and hold themselves back from taking life-changing action.

I’m at the moment of reckoning in my own life, only this time I recognize it.

And for the first time, my purpose is greater than my fear. 

The desire for the new me and how she can serve others in the world is far stronger than the old me and her life of perceived safety and comfort.

Maybe you’re at the reckoning point, too.

How do we move forward?

For me, it’s thanking my battle-scarred old self for everything it went through to get me this far.

It’s loving that person with kindness, compassion and gratitude for the strength it took to get me to this point.

We no longer need to retreat back to our old selves because we recognize this moment is what they’ve been preparing us for.

Once we can see that, we can give ourselves permission to keep moving forward, and to finally step into our new identities.

Are you at the reckoning point? 

What do you do to move forward and not let yourself retreat? 

I’d love to hear from you in the comments below.

(For more reading about letting go of the past to make room for your future, you may be interested in this poem: “Passing the Torch and Letting Go“)

For some, the gap between knowing what they need to do to accomplish their goals and actually doing it is everything. As a virtual accountability partner, I help people struggling with procrastination and overwhelm take the critical steps they need to break the cycle of inaction and move forward with their lives.


  1. Deborah Grant-dudley
    November 8, 2019

    Beautiful thoughts, Kari.

  2. ปั้มไลค์
    November 8, 2019

    Like!! Great article post.Really thank you! Really Cool.

  3. oprol evorter
    November 13, 2019

    I’m not that much of a online reader to be honest but your sites really nice, keep it up! I’ll go ahead and bookmark your site to come back later. Cheers


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