We all have negative, self-defeating thoughts and emotions.
How we manage those thoughts and emotions is everything.
If we’re riddled with insecurity and think we’re not good enough, we feel anxious, depressed, or hopeless.
We start avoiding or hiding in our personal or professional lives and stop showing up for ourselves.
We keep doing what we’ve always done because the effort to change feels too overwhelming.
We don’t want to spend time and energy going down a path only to have it not work out.
We tell ourselves we’d be all in if we could guarantee our effort would lead to the change or success we desperately want.
But we also want to be practical and realistic. We’ve always been this way. What makes us think this time would be different? We don’t want to delude ourselves.
Why bother then, right?
With no answer, we shut down our goals and dreams (again).
We go back to moving through our days on autopilot, numbing our feelings with our buffering activity of choice:
- zoning out in front of the TV
- scrolling social media
- overeating, overworking, overspending (online shopping)
- watching porn
- playing video games
- reading to escape reality
- overconsuming personal development content but not taking any action
In an effort to protect ourselves from pain and disappointment, we unwittingly choose to disappoint ourselves ahead of time.
The Power of Mindset Work
This was me for years.
I spent decades of my life unaware that I had the power to stop my own mind drama.
I felt at the mercy of my own thoughts.
Some days, my thoughts were nicer to me, and I felt happier, relieved, more confident.
But most days, my inner critic was in full force.
The constant inner battle was exhausting.
But then I heard about mindset work and learned how much biology and evolution play a role in shaping how we live our lives.
I discovered that what we think—consciously or subconsciously—creates physiological responses in our bodies (“feelings”).
And those feelings drive us to do, or not do, everything in life.
Bottom line: if I wanted to change my life, I needed to first understand the biology behind my thoughts. Then, I could start questioning everything I believed about my mind.
Learning to See Thoughts Differently
Most of us don’t realize we have the ability to choose or discard our thoughts.
We think they just appear, and when they do, we treat them as reality.
This is where so many of us get stuck—and where so much of our emotional suffering begins.
But these thoughts are often:
- Habits we’ve picked up along the way
- Social conditioning we’ve absorbed
- Responses to trauma locked in our nervous system, or
- Beliefs passed down from family systems
They’ve been part of our internal dialogue for so long, we can’t imagine a life where they don’t influence or run our lives.
Taking Back Control
Because I didn’t know I had the power to help myself out of my own suffering, I gave decades of my life to depression, anxiety, and hopelessness.
But once I realized tools were available to help me deconstruct my thinking, I got to work.
The work of unlearning, relearning, choosing, deciding, forgetting, remembering hasn’t always been easy.
Some parts have been incredibly frustrating and painful. But the difference is this:
Now, I know my thoughts are optional.
That knowledge has been life-changing.
The Impact of Mindset Work
If you do this work, you won’t be spared from experiencing negative, uncomfortable, or sometimes painful emotions.
But this time, you’ll have tools and concepts to help you face, process, and acknowledge them.
You’ll learn to loosen their grip over your mind and body.
Instead of being hijacked by them, you become stronger each time you work through them.
The more we lean into our fears instead of running from them, the faster we grow our belief in our ability to do hard things and to bounce back when setbacks inevitably occur.
Ultimately, we learn that emotions are survivable.
When we know this and do the daily work to truly see and feel it, our lives become exponentially bigger.
This Is the Work I Do
This is the type of work I help my clients with as a mindset coach.
Mindset work is like developing any important skill—it takes time, intentional effort, and consistent, daily practice.
But even the smallest mindset shifts can lead to real and lasting change.
At the end of the day, this is my passion—helping people see that change is possible for them, too.
A Path Forward
It all starts with understanding why we do what we do and using that knowledge to create more of what we want in life, and less of what we don’t.
When my clients learn these tools, life starts to look different.
Change seems possible.
Because it absolutely is.
Ready to Change?
If this resonates with you, I’d love to help you change your life, too.
The first step is an initial coaching call with me.
We’ll explore what’s holding you back and how adopting a growth mindset can set the stage for a whole new way of thinking and being in the world.
If this sounds like the work you’ve been longing to do, click the button below to schedule a free 90-minute coaching call.
For more details on my coaching philosophy and what it means to do this life-changing work:
Listen to my podcast, The End of the Day: A Mindset Podcast
Click the “Work With Me” tab
Follow me on Instagram (@kari_mindsetcoach) for mindset tips, tools, and resources