If what you’ve been doing hasn’t been working, it’s time to let go of what works for everyone else and find solutions that work for you.
Cookie-cutter approaches often left me frustrated. There was always just enough that clicked to give me hope, but sooner or later, I’d hit a wall that everyone else seemed able to climb over but me.
I felt like a square peg trying to fit into a round hole—exhausted, demoralized, and deeply helpless.
I’d think, “Everyone else can do life, Kari, why can’t you?”
Everything felt so hard.
When you tell yourself that everyone else has things figured out but you, it’s easy to feel like a black sheep. Over time, you start to believe you are one.
You Are Not Alone
So many people spend their lives trying to follow what they’ve been taught or told to do. When they struggle, they internalize it as a personal failing. Over time, the weight of these perceived “failures” erodes confidence and self-esteem, leading to learned helplessness, depression, and disengagement from life.
That was me, too—until my youngest daughter was diagnosed with ADHD.
A New Understanding
As I researched how to support her, I started to see myself in the ADHD struggle. Suddenly, what I’d thought was unique to me wasn’t unique at all—there was an entire population of people who had similar challenges.
Listening to the stories of adults diagnosed later in life, I heard common themes:
- Working twice as hard because their brain didn’t seem to work like everyone else’s.
- Secretly using workarounds while feeling ashamed for not doing things the “normal” way.
- Masking perceived deficiencies by overcompensating, often in ways that felt depleting or inauthentic.
- Burning out after years of trying to fit into a system not designed for them.
This was my story, too. I had slipped from despair into apathy, self-loathing, and a total loss of self-belief.
It wasn’t until I learned how ADHD brains operate that things started to make sense:
- The hyperfocus.
- The difficulty starting and finishing tasks.
- The overwhelm and shutdown triggered by visual chaos.
- The mental chatter, chronic anxiety, and stress of juggling too many “dropped balls.”
As one expert said: “We’ve spent our lives as Androids trying to use an iPhone manual.”
When you understand how your brain works and start using the right manual, everything begins to change.
You’re Not Broken
If this resonates with you, know you’re not broken.
You’ve just been trying to function with an operating manual that wasn’t meant for you.
It’s easy to feel deficient when you’re trying to force your brain to work a certain way.
But when you give yourself permission to notice what works for your brain and what doesn’t, and find solutions from there, life gets so much easier.
And when you allow yourself to work with your brain instead of against it, what once felt impossible now feels within reach.
Meeting Your Brain Where It Is
This realization changed everything for me. That’s why a cornerstone of my coaching is:
- Normalizing how our brains work.
- Meeting ourselves where we are.
- Finding personalized solutions that resonate with us.
We get to have dreams.
We just need to hold the vision while tailoring our approach to achieve them.
That’s what we’ll do together in coaching.
Why 1:1 Coaching Works
Weekly 1:1 coaching is entirely focused on you—your unique goals, struggles, and challenges.
Together, we’ll:
- Explore what works for your brain and create tailored solutions.
- Work through the thoughts and beliefs that keep you stuck or playing small.
- Challenge the conditioning and narratives that have shaped your view of what’s possible.
This isn’t about blame.
It’s about taking ownership of where you are and creating a path forward. And the good news?
The power to change is already in your hands.
At the Core of Mindset Coaching
At the heart of mindset coaching is choice.
When we become aware of our thoughts, we can choose to keep them, reframe them, or let them go. This awareness allows us to align our beliefs and actions with the life we want to create.
This Is Your Invitation
If you’re exhausted from a lifetime of trying to succeed on someone else’s terms, I invite you to a free 90-minute coaching call.
Feel seen. Feel heard. Walk away with tools and insights that will kickstart your journey and get you excited to start living your life again.
We have one life.
How do you want to live yours?
Think about it.
And then, let’s get to work.
Talk soon,
Kari