We’ve all been there—those moments when life throws a curveball, and our first reaction is to spiral into frustration, stress, or self-blame. Maybe you’re already running late, and you suddenly get a flat tire. Or you’re in the middle of a big presentation, and the tech glitches. In these moments, it’s easy to fall into a mental loop that only seems to make things worse.
Jon Acuff, author and podcaster, knows a thing or two about these moments. He’s built a career on delivering solid advice wrapped in humor, because he believes that laughter is one of the most powerful ways to communicate important messages. By injecting humor into his work, Acuff disarms us, allowing us to absorb advice we might otherwise resist. And one of my favorite tips of his for challenging situations is as practical as it is funny:
“If you’re not sure what to do, start by deciding not to make things worse.”
Acuff says this in a way that makes you laugh—reminding us that, yes, we’re fully capable of making a bad situation worse. But his advice is powerful precisely because it’s so disarming. It lifts the weight of a tense moment, giving us permission to pause, breathe, and decide not to add fuel to the fire. Sometimes, a wise first step is simply to decide to not escalate the problem.
But this advice isn’t just helpful when we’re struggling with our own frustrations. It also serves as a powerful anchor when those around us are stressed, frustrated, or overwhelmed. Deciding not to make things worse helps us remain grounded and steady, despite the intensity of the moment.
In this post, we’ll dive deeper into how this mindset shift can bring practical clarity, a bit of levity, and emotional balance to moments that could easily become emotionally charged.
1. Practicality: A Small Step with Big Impact
One of the greatest strengths of Acuff’s advice is its simplicity. When we’re caught in a moment of stress—whether it’s a minor frustration or something that feels much heavier—it’s easy to feel overwhelmed by what needs to be “fixed” or how to make things better. But rather than focusing on big solutions, Acuff offers us a way to start with one small, meaningful choice: deciding not to make things worse.
This choice isn’t passive; it’s an active decision to pause instead of spiraling. Imagine you’re standing by the side of the road with that flat tire, already late for work. The instinctive response might be to make the situation a very big deal. Your mind races, self-talk kicks into overdrive, and you’re suddenly exhausted before the day has even begun.
But with Acuff’s advice in mind, you pause and tell yourself, “First, let’s not make things worse.” You already know exactly what would make it worse—overreacting, looping in negative thoughts, or creating a dramatic story around the problem. How do you know? You feel it in your body: a racing heartbeat, tightness in the chest, the urge to snap at others, or that sigh of frustration every few seconds.
At this crossroads, you can choose one of two directions.
In one direction lies frustration, self-blame, and negativity; in the other is a decision to take a different route—a route that doesn’t add fuel to the fire. By choosing to stay clear of these reactive responses, you create a small but vital mental “reset.”
This simplicity is powerful because it doesn’t demand immediate answers or solutions. Instead, it allows us to breathe, regain composure, and remain steady without feeling pressured to fix everything at once. No matter where you are on your personal growth journey, this mindset shift meets you right where you are, whether you’re dealing with day-to-day annoyances or navigating more complex emotions.
When we can create this space in both everyday situations and tougher times, we give ourselves a moment to pause, breathe, and choose what comes next—one decision at a time.
2. Levity: A Bit of Lightness When Needed
Acuff’s advice brings an unexpected sense of humor and lightness to moments that might otherwise feel heavy and serious. The funny part isn’t necessarily about all the things you could do to make it worse—it’s the reminder to tell yourself, “First, let’s not make it worse.” Because let’s face it: our first instinct is often to react in ways that do make things worse.
In moments of stress, it’s almost second nature to overdramatize the situation, spiraling in anxiety, fear, frustration, anger, or unhelpful self-talk. Acuff’s advice interrupts that cycle with the humorous nudge of a wise elder, almost as if to say, “Hey, we both know you could make this worse, but what if you decided not to?”
This simple reminder brings a bit of levity to the situation, helping us remember how easily our minds jump to complexity over the simple but important actions.
When we let our minds run wild, unchecked, we tend to see complexity.
By choosing not to give in to those predictable reactions, we create space for clarity and intentional action, turning what could have felt like a disaster into something more manageable.
And because we’re human and don’t live in a vacuum, we’ll inevitably find ourselves around others who may themselves be caught up in, or projecting, their own emotions. Developing the skill of navigating the human, emotional experience serves us well, and reminders like “First, let’s not make it worse” invite a bit of levity while helping us stay steady. By deciding to anchor to calm over chaos, we can diffuse heightened emotions, preserving our ability to access choice.
3. Emotional Regulation: Creating Space for Calm, Intentional Action
One of the most valuable byproducts of Acuff’s advice is the emotional balance it brings to challenging moments. When we pause and remind ourselves, “First, let’s not make things worse,” we naturally shift from a reactive state to a more reflective one. This simple reminder encourages us to step back, take stock, and mentally catalog the behaviors we want to avoid. By choosing not to spiral, we start to notice physical changes, too—our heart rate slows, our breath steadies, and we feel a subtle but powerful return to balance.
With this shift, we regain access to the part of the brain responsible for logical thinking and decision-making, the prefrontal cortex. In practical terms, this means we’re able to respond from a place of calm and clarity rather than being led by frustration, overwhelm, or fear. In the choice to not make things worse, we’re claiming control over our reaction—and that’s often the most powerful choice we can make.
And in moments when others around us are feeling stressed or emotionally reactive, anchoring ourselves in calm creates a sense of stability.
By avoiding the instinct to mirror heightened emotions, we remain centered, empowered to navigate the situation with clarity and resilience.
Sometimes, the most valuable action we can take is the decision to not add fuel to the fire, choosing instead the calm, steady response.
This is the beauty of Acuff’s advice: it doesn’t ask us to solve every problem, but it reminds us that we always have the power to pause, breathe, and find our center. In that small but intentional pause, we hold a quiet power—and with it a silent invitation for others, if they choose, to also pause, breathe, and reset.
In Times of Weight and Uncertainty: Steady
While “Let’s not make things worse” can be a useful and humorous reminder in everyday moments, sometimes life presents us with challenges that feel much more serious. In times like these, the stakes feel higher, and the emotions—anger, fear, uncertainty—are often more intense.
The recent U.S. election has been one of those moments for many, where the outcome has left some feeling vulnerable, frustrated, or deeply concerned for the future. In moments like these, when the issues at hand run deep, “Let’s not make things worse” might feel off, almost like it doesn’t quite honor the gravity of our emotions or our need to process them fully.
For times like these, a different cue—“Steady”—might feel more fitting.
This single word serves as a powerful anchor, a reminder to pause, breathe, and ground ourselves in inner calm. Invoking “Steady” allows us to honor our emotional reality without being swept away by it.
In this context, deciding to steady ourselves doesn’t mean downplaying or dismissing what’s happening, nor should it be construed as soft.
It’s an acknowledgment of our ability to find strength in the face of uncertainty, to respond with intention, and to choose our next steps thoughtfully. This one-word anchor is a quiet reminder that, no matter what is unfolding around us, we still have the power to center ourselves and decide who we want to be in the experience.
Conclusion: Finding Our Ground—Everyday Moments and the Heavy Ones
Deciding not to make things worse serves as a light-hearted nudge to anchor to calm, while deciding to steady ourselves becomes a quiet call to strength when we need grounding most. Both cues are tools for creating space within ourselves. They offer us a toolkit for navigating both the routine and the profound moments in life—helping us to stay present, intentional, and resilient.
In any situation, we’re invited to take that moment, check in, and remember: we have the ability to decide, to steady ourselves, and to choose how we respond—moment by moment, one step at a time.
Resources
This post was inspired by Jon Acuff. Known for his humor and practical wisdom, Jon helps people navigate life’s challenges with clarity and levity. To dive deeper into his approach, check out his podcast, All It Takes Is A Goal, where he shares his passion for helping others set and achieve their goals. Also, check out his book, Soundtracks, which offers a fresh and relatable approach for rewiring unhelpful mental loops (broken “soundtracks”) and replacing them with empowering ones. For more from Jon Acuff, visit his website at jonacuff.com
