When I viewed belief as a thing, I suffered. When I saw belief as a choice, I had access to hope and possibility again.
Belief work is the process of repeatedly bringing ourselves back into belief: belief in ourselves and belief that we want is possible.
Sounds simple, but our brains are easily distracted. We can feel full of belief one moment and literally feel our belief waning in the next.
How is this possible? What’s going on?
At the simplest level, we just started thinking different thoughts.
Thoughts are just sentences in our head.
When you’re “in belief”, the sentences in your head paint an optimistic, positive picture:
“I’ve got this.”
“I trust my abilities.”
“I have my own back no matter what.”
“I will keep going.”
“I always get back up.”
When your belief wavers, you’ll notice that the focus and tenor of your sentences have started to change:
“I feel awkward. I felt awkward before. I thought I was stronger than this.”
“Is that doubt I’m noticing? What am I doubting? Why is doubt here? I believe in myself…don’t I?”
“I can’t keep repeating this pattern.”
“Not again.”
“I’m so tired.”
When you feel like you’re spinning out in disbelief, your sentences may sound something like this:
“What was I thinking?”
“That’s embarrassing, I almost deluded myself into believing I could do it.”
“What’s wrong with me?”
“I don’t belong here.”
“Who am I kidding? I don’t have [insert what you believe is lacking] that others have.”
“People must think I’m ____________.”
Your sentences might be different, but you’ll be able to spot the change in focus and tenor as your belief wanes.
But when we’re aware of this phenomenon — that our beliefs have half-lives, if left unattended — then we can take care to periodically check in, notice how we’re feeling, notice what we’re thinking, and notice which direction our thoughts are taking us.
Maybe our candle is out.
What do you normally do when you notice your candle is out?
Do you tend to spend a lot of time and energy on your candle being out?
Or could you next time just grab a lighter and relight your candle again?
What does this look like in terms of belief work?
Go back and take a look at the sentences in your head when you’re “in belief”. Using the above example, those sentences might look like:
“I’ve got this.”
“I trust my abilities.”
“I have my own back no matter what.”
“I will keep going.”
“I always get back up.”
How do they make you feel? What do you need to most hear so you can keep going? Tell yourself that. You’re building belief. You’re practicing believing. You’ll take action from that belief.
And your belief will wane.
Your candle will go out.
But, this time, you’ll know it’s not a problem.
This time, you’ll know how to find your way out of the darkness, faster.
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Some questions for reflection:
1) How can we remember we have the power to choose to keep lighting our own candles, over and over, as often as necessary?
2) How can we light each others’ candles?
3) How can we protect our candles from a healthy, loving, fierce, grounded place?
4) How can we re-light our candles faster?
5) How can we become stronger in our sense of self so that others can’t blow out our candles?
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