If you had to choose, which would it be? Loads of success and validation or lots of challenges?” — Dr. Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success
What a great question. For most of my life, I had a fixed mindset.
Failure, not getting things perfect, being seen as flawed, potentially being wrong — these were all things that would drive me to do just a few more hours of research, a couple more rewrites, ask a few more clarifying questions — or hide.
My self-worth was tied to being perfect. And since no one is perfect, I always fell short of my own expectations.
Cue self-loathing, harsh self-criticism, intense insecurity about my value and worth, and the never-ending need for external validation to confirm that I was, in fact, okay.
It was exhausting.
Sometimes the extra effort was needed but often a second draft would’ve been just fine. “Fine” is a word that used to make me cringe. Now, I post “fine” stuff all the time.
I have writer friends whose work is much more polished. Their sentence structure is impeccable. Their paragraphs flow. And I’m pretty sure they don’t switch pronouns and tenses halfway through their content.
That’s okay.
Since allowing myself to do “fine” work, I’ve posted much more content.
I spend more time focusing on my message and my clients.
I’m learning to do things faster, which means more room for mistakes, more lessons in vulnerability, more chances to be wrong, more chances to be seen imperfectly, more chances to be judged.
But also:
more chances to grow
more chances to learn
more chances to join in the conversation
more chances to step outside my comfort zone
more chances to meet new people
more chances to develop truer relationships
more chances to do what I love.
You can start off as a chronic procrastinator with crippling perfectionism and a deeply rooted fixed mindset, and decide that path is no longer for you.
You can choose progress over perfection.
You can choose to find out how far you could go if you’re willing to show up slightly imperfect.
You can choose to develop a growth mindset and gift yourself a richer, more meaningful life.
At the end of the day, we only have one life.
How do we want to live it? How do we want to show up?
Let’s think about it.
And then, let’s get to the work.
Cheers,
Kari
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